


The Sweet Talker

by Bun_Bun_Hanzo



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Halloween, Human Zenyatta, M/M, Suggestive Themes, Year Of The Dog, halloween fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bun_Bun_Hanzo/pseuds/Bun_Bun_Hanzo
Summary: The kids decide to go trick or treating, but while going back home, some older kids steal Jesse’s candy.And Hanzo is NOT having that.





	1. The Sweet Talker

**Author's Note:**

> I know it’s not Halloween anymore but I wrote this in October (I didn’t have a03 then). I didn’t want to wait an entire year just to post this. Enjoy.

Ah... Halloween. A glorious day of the year. Children get to dress up as whatever they want for free candy. 

The night was on the warmer side this year, and the four children got dressed up for Halloween. Genji was quite excited to show off his costume because it was a character from a popular children’s show in Japan. Since the brothers moved to America, it was difficult for the small boy to find merchandise and other things that weren’t too expensive.

Well, their father would’ve given it to him anyways.

Hanzo, on the other hand, didn’t want to go trick-or-treating this year. He said that he ‘lost interest in it’, and that he decided to stay home tonight. The youngest Shimada begged for him to go, but Hanzo was as stiff as a rock. He would not budge. “Fine! But Jesse’s going to be all alone..” Genji grumbled and he started to walk out his brother’s door. “So?” Hanzo quickly responded, sitting on his bed and reading a book, not once looking up from it. “Soooo that means at midnight he’s going to take An-“

“Shut your mouth.” The eldest Shimada cut him off.  
Genji turned around and smiled. “Oh? Did I say something wrong?” Hanzo sighed and flipped to the next page in the book. “You know what you were about to say. Didn’t you have a crush on Angela?” Genji frowned. “W-well that was only for a few months! Then I realized that she wasn’t my type.”  
Hanzo scoffed. “You’re forgetting a part. Angela rejected you because she secretly likes Fareeha.”

“No she didn’t!”

“Mmhm. But it’s okay now; you seemed to get all giddy around our quiet friend.” He spoke and continued to read the horror story. “What?! I don’t like Zen... oh..” the short haired boy quieted down and thought about it for a second. His eyes widened as he thought about Zenyatta.

“Holy crap..” Genji whispered, putting on his helmet. Hanzo only laughed. “Finally realizing it? ...you do look ridiculous though.” Genji walked up to his brother and sat beside him. “What are you reading? Fifty Shades of Gay?”  
The other sighed and punched him in the arm. “Ow! I was joking!”

“No you idiot. It’s the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” Genji rubbed his arm and walked outside his room. “I’m leaving...” but, he popped his head in once more to say something. “You never know... McCree might need a little bit of protection... well, YEAH, but-“

“Genji.”

“What?? His soul is still free for the taking. You could protect his soul!”

“GENJI.”

“Alright, alright.. I’m out.”

Across the street were Zenyatta’s and Jesse’s houses, and Zenyatta was quite indecisive about what he wanted to go as. With the help of Mondatta, he put on his costume. He was a little robot. Aww.  
Since the death of their parents, Mondatta has strived to make his younger brother’s life easier. He always made sure that he was safe. But recently, Mondatta was eying his close group of friends. Why? He was getting suspicious about that Genji boy.. 

Zenyatta, who was now painted silver, walked up to the front door of their house. “Be safe,” spoke his older brother. Worry colored his voice as Zenyatta turned around and smiled. “Ah, do not worry. I am to return at ten o’ clock! My friends are with me, so I am safe. Please, Mondatta. Stop worrying.”  
Mondatta sighed at his brother’s words and let him go. Once the robot got to the sidewalk, he heard his brother once more. “And don’t let Genji harass you!” Mondatta yelled, which caused Zenyatta to blush a bit. “He doesn’t harass me!”  
He yelled back with a giggle, before completely walking off to the destination that the four decided to meet up at.

The kids were already out for tonight. Many children dressed up as witches, ninjas, grim reapers, skeletons, and other horror-esque costumes. Once he got to the fountain in the middle of the park, he saw a kid who was wearing completely green... he looked like a superhero. “Ah! Genji?” Zenyatta spoke, tapping the kid on the shoulder. It was not his friend, however. The kid was dressed up as as Green Lantern. “Huh? Who are you?” The Caucasian kid looked down on Zen. “Oh? S-sorry...”  
Genji told him that he would be dressing up as his favorite character from a Japanese cartoon, who wore green...

The kid walked off and Zenyatta looked around. Then, two arms wrapped around his torso and picked him up. Zenyatta, now with a shocked face, was about to yell. “H-H—“

“Shhhh! Zenny! It’s me.” A voice behind him said, and it was altered to a /slight/ robotic tone. “Genji....?” The boy in the green armor chuckled. “Yeees, Zenyatta?” He placed him down on the ground. Zenyatta turned around and gasped. “You look amazing!”  
“And you look cute! Hey! We could be cool superheroes together!”

The shorter boy blushed softly. “Huh? I’m just a regular robot...” Genji placed his hands on Zenyatta’s shoulders. “No you’re not! You’re ZENYATTA! Your words of wisdom will help all! ....and someday, it’ll help me too. Oh!!” There Genji goes again...  
“You could’ve helped me get out of a dark place, and THIS is the new person I become!” He pointed at himself when he said ‘this’. Zenyatta smiled warmly. “That sounds great, Genji...”

After that, another voice called over to them. It had a southern draw to it. The two turned around to see McCree, who was dressed up as a....  
“Monster Hunter?! Woah! That’s awesome!” Genji jumped and ran over to him. Zenyatta smiled and followed Genji. “Thanks! Uh... where’s Hanzo?” Jesse looked rather confused as he looked around for the older Shimada brother. Genji sighed, “well, he said that he didn’t want to go trick-or-treating this year...”  
The Monster Hunter frowned at that. “Is that so? Whatta shame...”  
The green armored boy nodded and turned to walk away, soon followed by the two. Something stopped them, however. They heard a long, irritated sigh behind them.

The trio turned and gasped. It was Hanzo, and he actually dressed up as a demon! Wow. He really did stay true to what he said... 

“Oh, look! Hanzo came!” Zenyatta pointed to the ashy grey male. “And fast.” Genji added.

“Me too..” Jesse whispered, cracking a small smile.

Hanzo growled and slapped McCree in the face. “Ow! I didn’t do anythin’!”  
“Shut up. Okay... should we start now?” He spoke, and his fangs showed when his mouth opened. Horns sprouted from his head and he wore contacts that made his eyes completely white. “Hanzo, how did you do that so quickly?! I knew you were fast, but... wow.”

Hanzo frowned, and his teeth still could be seen. “I want his soul.” He pointed to McCree, who blinked a few times and pointed at himself. “Oh? You want lil’ ol’ me? Well, I AM a Monster Hunter. Good luck with that.”  
And with that, Genji smiled brightly, followed by a loud gasp. The three looked at him with confused faces. “I FOUND THE PERFECT STORY!! MCCREE, ZENYATTA AND I FIGHT FOR JUSTICE-“

“-and peace-“ Zen added.

“-THE GOODHEARTED-“

“-and candy-“ McCree butted in too.

“YEAH THAT TOO! But one day, an evil demon comes and tries to kill us!” Genji pointed at Hanzo, making his brother raise an eyebrow. “What?”  
“The Hunter then tries to kill the demon-“

“-HAH-“ That noise came from Hanzo as Genji spoke. “BUT - lemme finish - he’s too captivated by the monster’s beauty!”

“I’d rather kill him.” His older brother frowned. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind that~” Jesse winked at Hanzo. Well, that action caused him to get punched in the arm. “Ow! I was joking!”

“Shut up you idiot.”

Genji laughed and turned around. “Come on guys! These bags aren’t going to fill themselves!”  
The crew followed Genji, and Zenyatta spoke. “Wait, so, where does that leave Hanzo—“

“ZENYATTA NO—“ Hanzo started to yell before he was interrupted by Genji.  
He took a deep breath. “WEEELLLL~ the demon was persuaded by the hunter to join us!” Another long sigh came from Hanzo. “Let’s just... go. We’re going to that house over there, correct?” He asked and pointed to a house. “According yo the map... yes.” Hanzo’s younger brother answered.

McCree blinked. Huh? “A map? You gotta map?” Without turning around, the green superhero took out a folded map and held it behind him. Jesse took the map and unfolded it, “oh.. I see.” He squinted a bit and frowned. “Y’know, it’d be nice if ya didn’t write it in Japanese...”  
Hanzo snatched the paper from him and handed it to Genji, who folded it back up and placed it at the bottom of his candy bucket.  
The kids walked up to the first house, and Genji knocked on the door. A second later, one woman came out with a bowl of chocolate candy. “Trick-or-treat!” The four said simultaneously. She smiled brightly and looked at Zenyatta first.  
“Oh! What a cute robot!” She chirped, putting a miniature milk chocolate bar or two into his bag. He smiled. “Thank you.” The Caucasian lady then looked at McCree. “Oh? What do we have here? A Monster Slayer? Very good!” She praised him, also putting some chocolate into the bag. He chuckled, “thanks ma’am. My dad and padre helped me with it!”

The woman blinked and paused once Jesse said what she think he said. She shook her head reassured herself that he only meant his one father, and that he just calls him padre and dad. Moving on to Hanzo, the blonde had a rather shocked look on her face. That was scary... “woah. That’s a... very good monster costume!” Hanzo looked her dead in the eye (which she found weird since she couldn’t really make eye contact with him) and spoke. “I’m a demon.” She put a piece of chocolate in the bag and something else, but it was tied in a very small bag. Last but not certainly least, her eyes landed on Genji. She smiled wide and gave him chocolate. 

“Oh look! A Power Ranger!”

Genji tilted his head to the side and spoke. “What?”

“A Power Ranger. You’re the green one.”

The green superhero sighed and shook his head. “Sentai-“  
“Genji, please don’t tell her about that. We don’t want to sit here ALL night.” Hanzo butted in and Genji nodded.  
They walked away and a disgusted stare was casted upon Jesse and Hanzo.  
The Hunter was the only one that felt the glare and he spoke. “Hey guys... I have an uncandy feelin’ like someone’s watchin’ us.” Hanzo turned his head to him. “Did you... did you just make a pun?” McCree scratched his chin at that. “Heh... I guess I did.”

“Did she really call me a Power Ranger?!”

The quartet walked on to the next house. “We should be on track, according to the map.” The Demon took the map from his brother’s bag and looked at it. He put it back and knocked on the door. The door opened and the group said ‘trick-or-treat’ again, and this time it was a African American man who wore a well knit sweater. He smiled and took out a bowl of fruity candies, and handed some to everyone. “Such creative costumes! Great work.” The kids waved him goodbye and he did the same.  
“Hey guys... that man had a warm lookin’ sweeter!” McCree said a pun again, making Zenyatta and Genji giggle.  
“No. You’re not doing this tonight. Stop.” Hanzo poked the taller boy on the shoulder to get his attention. “Woah there! Chill out, Hanny! I jus’ want everybody to have a good time.” That made Hanzo huff and he walked on forward.

The night was going well for the four boys. They got lots of candy, had a great time and-

“We just cane from that house, right?”

McCree-

He tripped and hurt his toe. “Son of a gum!”

Genji had to hold Hanzo back from literally breaking the poor boy’s neck. “Chill out! He’ll stop eventually.” 

He did not.

As the four were walking back to their houses, McCree spoke about Hanzo’s costume. “Y’know Hanzo... your costume would’ve been better if ya showed some skin.” He poked his chest and his hand was swatted away. “Shut up.”  
Genji and Zenyatta were coming up with a superhero name. “Uh... this is more difficult than I thought it would be...” Genji groaned and looked over at Zenyatta. “Yes, it is quite difficult... what /would/ my superhero name be?” He spoke and placed his hand on his chin.

A big group of older kids saw the four and walked over to them. “Hey. Nice costumes.” One said. The kids looked up at them and gave a variety of facial expressions. McCree smirked, Genji excitedly jumped up, Zen smiled and thanked them, and Hanzo... glared.  
That same teenager looked at Jesse’s candy bag. “Nice candy.”  
“Thanks!” Jesse chirped while being completely oblivious to how close the teen leaned in.

Then, the other three kids grabbed Zenyatta, Genji and Hanzo’s shoulders, keeping them in place. “Wh-“ Zenyatta tried to say something, but he was pushed to the ground. Genji, Hanzo, and McCree were also pushed. The kid who complimented Jesse took his candy bag and ran off. The rest of that kid’s group did the same, but they did not take any candy.  
Jesse got up and dusted himself off, then he started to look for his candy. “Hey... Wait, what happened to...?” The rest got up as well, checking if anyone was hurt.  
“Where’s my candy?”

“They stole it! Aw man... we don’t even know where they ran off to...” Genji spoke, hanging his head down low. “This is very unfortunate... I am dearly sorry, Jesse. Should we try and get it back?” Zenyatta said and frowned.  
McCree turned around and tipped his hat up. “Nah... it’s fine, Zen. I don’t really need-“

“Nonsense.”

The three turned their heads to Hanzo. Unlike the others, Hanzo was very upset about this. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he crossed his arms. “Nonesense...? Hanny, what’re talkin’ ‘bout?” The Hunter walked up to him and asked that question. “I’m getting your bag back.” Hanzo poked McCree’s chest and swiftly turned around. He started to walk off, not caring if the others would follow him or not. “Wait, Hanzo!” Genji yelled to him, running after his brother. Zenyatta followed, “I don’t think making rash decisions is the best way to handle this.”  
The white-dressed demon said nothing.

Jesse jogged up to him and held his arm, making him turn around. “Look, Hanzo. Ya don’t haveta do this fer me. It’s just candy. Jack and Gabe can just buy some at the store.” This angered Hanzo even more. Hanzo slipped his arm out of the hunter’s grasp, then grabbed him by the collar. He then forced him to get on his knees and made him look up at him.  
“Look, JESSE. I am NOT going to allow some jerks to come up and steal your candy. It’s YOURS,” He spoke, still holding him by the collar. Genji and Zen just watched in shock. “Not THEIRS. Like I said, I’m going to get your candy back. Follow me if you want. You-.. wait, are you even listening to me?!”  
Jesse just had a lovestruck look on his face. “Aw Hanbunny~ you’d do that fer me?” The demon groaned and held the bridge of his nose.  
Hanzo then let go and started to walk off again.  
The three went to follow him and tried to convince him to do something else, but... he was determined to get McCree’s candy back.

And so, the four set out to find it.

The older kids weren’t anywhere in their neighborhood, so they started to look in the city.  
It was 10:40 at this point.

Jack and Gabe were getting a bit worried.

“What if he’s dead?! What if someone kidnapped him?!”

And by a bit, I mean a lot.

“Jack! Calm down! I’m just sure that he lost track of time. We’ll wait for another thirty minutes. If he doesn’t come back, then we’ll start looking for him, okay?” Gabriel hugged him from behind and nuzzled into his neck. “Just stay calm.”  
Taking deep breaths, Jack nodded. “Alright... okay... okay...” 

“Just remember that we’re in this together.” One of Gabe’s hands moved to his significant other’s waist, and his other hand lifted Jack’s hand up. Jack looked at the wedding ring and smiled. “Yeah..”

Meanwhile, Genji and Zenyatta snuck over a fence. 

“Uh.. Genji, I don’t know if this is a good idea...” Zenyatta said quietly, tiptoeing across the backyard. Genji, who was already looking through a window, replied. “It’s alright, Zenny. We just gotta follow the plan!” 

Oh boy, the plan...

“But splitting up...? I do hope McCree and Hanzo are alright.” Zen said as he walked next to Genji. “They’re fiiine.”

They were not fine.

The two others were also looking out a window. “I saw them go in here. There’s a lot of people, though...” Hanzo said to Jesse as he scanned the area. “Yeah. So what’s the plan, sexy?”  
“Stop calling me that.”  
“Awww.... but I mint it!”

Slap.

The hunter rubbed his cheek. “I deserve that...” Hanzo scoffed and spotted the bag. That kid was holding it....“I have located your candy bag. Get down, they’re looking over here.” The two hid under the window and looked at each other at the same time. Jesse smiled, “oh oh oh! How ‘bout we just go in there ‘n politely ask fer it back?”

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?!” A voice from inside boomed, then some unlucky guy got punched into a table.  
“Jesse, that’s a horrible idea. How about this:I’ll be the distraction, and you’ll sneak in and get the bag,” Hanzo spoke, first pointing his thumb at himself and then his index finger at the bigger boy. “But what if I wanna be the distraction??”  
Hanzo blinked at him and McCree did the same. 

“.....fine.”

“Yesss!”

A few minutes later, Jesse walked inside the crazy party. Hanzo shortly followed, tiptoeing to the side. McCree kicked over a chair and made a loud noise, making most of the people look at him.  
“Listen up, ya dirty rats.” He glared at them, and they returned the same look.  
“There’s a new man in town...”

“More like child,” Hanzo mumbled as he got closer to his target.  
“Oh really?” One of the people there walked closer to him. “Yeah.”  
“Hm. I wonder how Zen and Genji are doing..” Hanzo said, looking around the room to see if anyone was watching him. Good, no one...

Speaking of the robot and superhero-

“AHHHHH!” Zenyatta yelled, running for his life as Genji did the same.  
“Why didn’t you say anything about the dog?!” Zen turned his head to Genji. “I-I didn’t see her!! Hold on, lemme help you!”  
“Gen- WAH!!”

Genji picked him up, bridal style and jumped over the fence. “Okay, good... wait.” Zen began to speak but he heard the dog jump. “GENJI, RUN!!”

“O-ON IT!!”

And the two ran from the mad pit bull.

Jack and Gabe were nearby, driving in their car and looking for Jesse. “Hey Gabe! It’s Zenyatta and Genji! Oh... they’re being chased by a pit bull?!”  
Gabe glanced and stopped the car. “Damn it.. wait. How is Genji able to climb a tree and hold Zenyatta at the same time?” Jack shrugged at that, and watched the dog go away. The two adults got out of the car and walked over to Genji and Zenyatta. Genji spotted Jack and Gabe first, and he waved to them. “Oh!! Hi Mr. and Mr.Morrison!!”

He jumped down with Zen. Gabriel walked up to him and spoke, “have you seen Jesse around here?”  
The superhero nodded in response. “Huh? Oh oh yeah! Looks like we’re not getting the box after all, Zen.” He turned his head to Zenyatta. “Good. I hate stealing...”  
Jack blinked and scratched his head.  
“Steal? Oh no.. what happened?” The four then walked back to the car and they got in it. “Weeeeelll.......” Genji started, putting on his seatbelt.

“Jesse’s bag got stolen and Hanzo is going to get it back!”  
That made Gabe quite angry. “What?! Who stole it?” He spoke as he started the car. “We don’t really know... but they’re downtown, I believe.” Zenyatta answered that time and he put on his seatbelt as well. “Those bastards are going to pay.” Gabriel growled, stepping on the petal. Jack sighed and held his head, deciding to stay silent.

In a few minutes, they were there. “I think Hanzo and McCree are in there.” Genji pointed to the house the hunter and Demon entered. “Are you sure-“ Jack began to say before he heard smashed glass.

The four got out of the car and looked through the window. What they saw was pure chaos.

Jesse jumped table to table, somehow dodging the people as they try to catch him. Hanzo gave him his bag earlier.  
McCree jumped down and ducked under a flipped over table. What was Hanzo doing? Well, punching a LOT of people in the gut. He was so short that no one could see him!  
The group outside watched in awe as Jesse and Hanzo continued to outmatch their opponents. At the end, there was a big pile of chairs next to the door. Jesse jumped on it, and was about to exit until he heard someone. Hanzo was also on top, and he patiently waited for him.

The kid who stole the bag held his gut and crawled over to the pile, but he stopped. “Who.. just who the hell are you?”  
McCree turned his head and smirked at him. 

“McCree. Jesse, McCree. Also known as the best monster hunter in all of the west.” He tipped his hat spun his fake gun into its holster.

Hanzo snorted and started to laugh. “Oh my god, you’re such a loser.” Jesse snapped his head at him and blushed. “Hey!! Shut up! That sounded cool and you know it!!”

Gabe came in and took the two. “It seems like you two did this all by yourselves.” Jesse, who was surprised, nodded. “Heck yeah we did!! It was awesome!! Right, Hanzo?”  
They all got back in the car and the demon shrugged. “I guess.”

“Aww! Gummy a break, Hanzo!”

Jack laughed at the pun and Gabe chuckled. Zen and Genji looked at Hanzo, who quite frankly, had enough of Jesse’s bs for the night.  
His hands wrapped around the poor boy’s neck and he started to strangle him.  
“D-DAD!! PADRE!! HE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!”  
“You brought that on yourself.” Gabe said as he drove back.

McCree looked at Hanzo and smiled. “What?” Hanzo said as he stopped choking him. “Hey Hanzo.. ya look fine as hell! Ya get it?? It’s because yer a de-“

Aaaand back to the strangling.

The others just laughed. “G-GUYS!! THIS... IS NOT... F..”

Jesse had a sore throat for two days.


	2. DetectiveCree: The Case of The Dead Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic is in The Sweet Talker’s au, but it’s a few months after Halloween.

Setting his glass down on the table, McCree opened a bag of fruit snacks and started to eat them. “Thanks,” He said, cracking a small smile. The other person nodded and sighed. Jesse then put on a hat that was very familiar to him; he remembered it dearly.  
The room itself was dimly lit, and the two sat across from one another, divided by a wooden table. Jesse sat on the couch while the person sat on a chair. “We gave you what you want.” The figure spoke, gesturing his hand to the fruit snacks and cranberry juice. “Now tell us.”

The young boy rolled his eyes and ate a green apple fruit snack. “Fine, fine. But I’ve warned ya. This story ain’t so pretty.”

The person, who was shrouded by shadows, sat up straight. “That’s why you’re here, McCree. Start talking.”

“It all started in 1985...”

The other blinked, “wh-“

“Haha, nah, I’m playin’ around with you. It started Monday... it was cold as hell outside. The snow looked really pretty, though... I walked down the streets and ate a glazed doughnut which Hanzo bought-“

“Wait. Hanzo? Hanzo Shimada?” The other cut him off. Jesse blinked and brushed some of his brown hair from his face. “Yeah. Y’know him?” The other nodded. “Yes. Continue.”

“Anyways... he lost a bet. I had a bit of a limp since he pushed me down the stairs at school. I was just walking home after a long day of detective work... you’re probably wonderin’ how I became a detective right? Well... for one of our classes, we were given alter egos to practice. I was a detective who monologues too much, Hanzo was an assassin who was insane and had a sweet tooth, Genji was a bartender who had an unhealthy obsession with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Zenyatta was a friend of Genji’s who was secretly in a demonic cult.”

The person blinked at the young boy. He was clearly in shock. “Wh... what?”  
“We had a sub that day... well, actually, we have one EVERYDAY...”   
“MCCREE.”

“Sorry, sorry. Anywho, from that day, I became DetectiveCree! Solvin’ mysteries left and right, gettin’ seduced by crazy assassins...” the other person raised his eyebrow and shook his head. The light shone on his face for a bit.  
“Alright alright... seducing crazy assassins-“

“Really?”

“....TRYING to seduce crazy assassins-“

The mysterious person coughed really loud on purpose. “TRYING TO SEDUCE CRAZY ASSASSINS WHILE GETTING HURT IN THE PROCESS.” Jesse yelled at him. “There we go.”

“It was snowin’ quite hard.. Christmas was upon us all and many children, myself included, wrote to Santa. That sick bastard... I was so naive at the time. I didn’t know of his cruel and evil ways...” McCree took an orange flavored fruit snack and ate it. He then drank some of his juice. He set the glass back down and continued. “Behind that fat stomach and jolly attitude held a horrible, horrible killer..”

The man stayed silent and looked straight at Jesse. 

“The walk home was a bit difficult due to the snow, but that was okay. When I got home, my bosses already made dinner. Everything was fine.... until the next day at school. I was still easin’ my way into my job when I got a call...”

_“Detective detective!!” The high pitched voice called out to me; I took a bite of my sandwich and swallowed. “Something horrible happened! An elf was found dead this morning...” I looked at the two people in front of me and told the person on the phone to hold on._

_“Guys...” I said, “an elf died this mornin’..”_

_A series of gasps sounded from all of them, and Genji took a handful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, stuffing it in his mouth. “Wow... good luck with your case, detective.” He spoke, but it was muffled. The two others nodded._

_I stood up from my seat and nodded, eating the last of my sandwich. “I will solve this case! ....after school.”_

_“Yeah, good idea.” Genji said. Hanzo nodded and Zenyatta drank some of his water. School went by pretty fast. After the last bell, I ran over to the mall... something strange was up. I walked into the mall, and I was met with another terror._

_Another elf was dead._

_People gathered ‘round the fresh body, and they all gasped in horror at the sight. I pushed pass them and shook my head. “Damn... not like this...” She was stabbed in the heart... with a sharpened candy cane. A half eaten cookie was in her pocket.._

“Wait wait wait...” The person stopped Jesse from going any further. “You’re trying to tell me that two elves were killed on the same day?” Jesse nodded.

He began to talk again...

_Then, two police officers came and pushed everyone back. “Get out of here, kid. This isn’t the place for you.” He even laughed at me when I told him that I was a detective. Soon, I would show him my skills..._

_At home, I paced around in my room while my bosses prepared dinner. One of them came home late and promised the other to make dinner.. I thought it was sweet. The relationship that my two bosses have is wonderful. It was almost like... they loved each other._

“I think they did-“

“They even had their own little friendship rings. I asked for one, but they just laughed at me...”  
McCree then got back to the story.

_I had a feeling who did it, but I was wrong. I went back to the mall. After speaking with several witnesses and possible suspects, I left with nothing but chocolate bars... tasty chocolate bars._

_In my wanderings, I came to a small smoothie place where I found the first member of my team... Genji. He made me a smoothie and sat down to talk. “So... you don’t know who did it, huh?” He asked me and took out a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He opened it and started to eat some. “Yeah... it’s gettin’ difficult.. I don’t know where to go or who to turn to... good smoothie by the way. Strawberry banana... mmm..” I sipped the drink and Genji spoke again after swallowing the cereal. “Well... I know someone who might help...”_

_And with that, Genji got up and left since he was done fer the day. I walked outside with him and immediately regretted buying something cold. ...I still drank it. “Who’s this person?”_

_“Zenyatta. He has a lot of advice... but something’s up with him. I can’t put my finger on it...” Genji said and dug his hand into the cereal box. I shrugged and began to talk.. I didn’t remember what exactly it was about, but I do remember Genji saying ‘why did they force you to speak so much...?’_

_I finished the smoothie once we got to Zenny’s. I threw it in the trash as we got inside, and Genji tackled him to the floor. They both laughed and got up, but Zen’s older brother, Mondatta, glared at Genji. “Eheheh... sorry Mondatta.” I saw Gen rub the back of his neck as he said this. “Howdy Mondatta. I’m detective Jesse McCree. I need to see yer younger brother, T-“ Genji was crunching very loud, and we all turned to him. I raised my eyebrow and took out my badge for certification. Genji stopped and smiled, “oh? Sorry.”_

_Mondatta blinked and tilted his head to the side. “Oh? Um, sure.” He left us three sitting at a table. I told him everything that has happened so far. “Ah. I see... how unfortunate. How can someone leave so quickly? And without a trace... and you said the only thing that was left behind was a sharpened candy cane and a half eaten chocolate chip cookie? Strange....”_

_Then, it hit me like a truck... I came to the sudden realization..._

_I slowly got up from my chair. “You guys.... I know who killed the two elves. Santa did.”_

“Woah. You’re trying to tell me that SANTA-“ 

“Uh huh.” Jesse nodded.

“-KILLED these two elves-“

“Uh huh.”

“-and got away with it?”

“Yup.”

...

The man pinched the bridge of his nose and heard McCree talk again. 

_The others gasped at what I said. “He is right.... there is a grocery store that sells some of the best whole milk here! What are we going to do?” Genji asked and took another handful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. “We’re gonna confront Santa.” I replied. The other two looked at each other then back at me. “Well... if that’s what we’re really going to do.. then you’ll need a bodyguard.” Zen said with a rather serious attitude._

_The three of us left his house with his older brother knowing. “So.. you said a bodyguard? Or someone that can protect me? Do I look like some type of weaklin’ to ya, Zen?”_

_“No, not at all. I’m just saying that we’ll need some backup when things get hectic...” I agreed ‘n we went to the mall again. We ran to the candy store inside. I was quite confused on why we were in there, but Zenny said that we’ll need five bags of gummy bears. “What? Why?” I asked him, and he said ‘that’s the only way’._

_I reached for some off brand gummy bears but Genji slapped my hand away. “Ow, Genji! What the f-“ he grabbed my shirt and looked into my eyes. “Haribo and Albanese. HAR-I-BO AND AL-BAN-ESE.” He said and held he box of cereal between his arm and side, then digging his hand inside of it. Genji ate a handful of cereal. I put my hands up defensively, “woah woah woah! Those are expensive!”_

_“He only likes quality candy, so... get two bags of Haribo and three of Albanese.” I sighed and did as Zenyatta said. “Aw, my bosses are going to kill me..” I whimpered and walked out the store with the two of them. “Alright, so he should be over there.” Genji pointed to an alleyway which didn’t really look all too pretty, and it sent shivers down my spine. Like, why was he even there? What was he doin’?_

_Genji led us to that creepy and dark alleyway, and a voice spoke to us. It sounded so beautiful... “what do you want?” We all looked at each other in silence until Genji pushed me forward. I landed on him but he pushed me off. “Ow.. well, um.. we heard that you have some services to offer... n-not illegal or anythin’ but-“_

_“I do not have time for your foolish games. Leave me be or el-“_

_“I got candy.” I said and shook a bag of Haribo gummy bears. He stepped out of the shadows and raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”_

_It was strange how he changed attitudes so quickly.. “Well...” I began and looked back at Zen and Genji, who nodded. I then looked up at the assassin who looked down on me with a rather... dead look. It was pretty cute, though... “we’re gonna interrogate a murderer and uh, would like it if you... would help... by protecting us...?” He glared at me._

_“Do I look like some type of bodyguard?! Leave me at once. Nothing you will offer will persuade me.” He shooed me away and I got up. I pulled out the four others, “we have five bags.”_

_....._

_....._

_Only silence could be heard. He looked straight at us, then the bags of candy. He had some pretty ol’ eyes.. I could just get lost in them for-_

“Detective.” The man cut Jesse off and cleared his throat. “What is it?” McCree replied, taking a sip of his juice. “Don’t get distracted...” Jesse blinked and nodded his head hurriedly; blush started to creep up in his cheeks as he realized what he was doing. “Right, right...”

_He came with us, but didn’t seem too happy about it... “I’m only protecting you for the gummy bears,” he’d say, but I’m sure as hell that there was another reason... heh..._

_Anyways, it started to get dark out. For some reason, Zenyatta began to walk behind us. I was going to question it before it was too late.. something hard hit my head and I blacked out._

_When I came to, I was lying on the floor next to Genji, who also seemed to have been knocked out. The room was very dark, and a rather faint red light shone... I didn’t know where we were. It was pretty damn creepy. These strange hooded people surrounded us, and one of them walked forward. They revealed themselves to us... they were Zenny. I was shocked, and when I looked at Genji, he was pretty spooked too..._

_“Z-Zenny?! Th’ hell is this?!” I looked around frantically. Genji, who still had his Cinnamon Toast Crunch, scratched his chin. He held the box closely like a safety blanket, “ooooh, I remember now. He’s apart of a demonic cult!!”_

_“How the hell did ya forget something like that?!”_

_Zenyatta cleared his throat and looked down at us. “For my assistance, I come with a fee, and that fee is giving your soul to the Antichrist.” Genji blinked, “oh. That sounds fair.” He said and ate some cereal._

_I turned to him since my ears could not believe what they were hearin’.. “Genji! Yer soul’s gotta be more important than that, right?” Gen looked down and thought for a second. “Hmmm...”_

_“We have more Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” Said Zenyatta who pointed to a cabinet that I didn’t see before. Genji’s eyes sparked up and he nodded, “yes yes yes!” I sighed and Genji turned to me. “What about Jesse?” Zen saw this and shrugged, “we cannot take his soul since his was already taken.”_

_A “Wait what?” came from Genji, and I nodded. “Yeah, Hanzo has it. He took it last Halloween when I was about to go inside my house fer the night.”_

_“Oh. Speaking of Hanzo...” Genji looked around, trying to find his older brother._

_“I’m here.” A lovely soundin’ voice said behind us, and we turned our heads to see him. He ate a bag of Haribo gummy bears and stared blankly at us. “Wait, Hanzo? You are here?? Why did you let them capture us?” Genji asked him, and he responded with a shrug. “Not sure. Either I tried and failed to save you, or I just didn’t care enough. We’re all pretty sure what the true answer is.”_

_“Aaah... I can feel the power of Satan within you.. it’s rather strong, actually. Like, wow. Wow Genji.” Zenyatta said as he touched Genji’s forehead. “Now, I shall take your soul and give it to the devil himself!!” Then, the hooded people around us started to make these weird noises with their mouths. It sounded like ‘weezzzzz’, ‘pfffftttttzzzzz’, ‘lulululululu,’ ‘sasasssasssssssaasaaaaa’, ‘sickssickssicks’, and some other stuff._

_“YOU HAVE BEEN CONSUMED BY THE ANTICHRIST!”_

_We then treated ourselves to some orange juice with pulp. Mmmmm, pulp..._

_Anywho, we left and continued on our journey to take down Santa. We finally got to the train station and went as far as we could up north before gettin’ off and walkin’ in the cold cold snow. It took some hours, but it was worth it... kinda...oh and if you were wonderin’ How we got on for free... Hanzo threatened someone to pay for us. Ain’t he just lovely?_

_But... the cold was gettin’ to us. One after another, we fell like the snow from the sky... one of us, though, pushed through it... I couldn’t tell who it was due to partially passing out, but his voice range through our ears... “guys guys!! I found the North Pole!! I can see Santa’s Workshop!”_

_We got up and ran to the top of the snowy hill. Hanzo then pushed me down and I rolled into a big snowball, sucking up the two as well. We all eventually slammed into the door with Hanzo following close behind. He rang the doorbell as we got up and shook ourselves off. A few seconds later, someone came at the door. We all gasped..._

_It was Santa!_

_Dun dun duuuuuun!!! He looked down at us and I glared at him. “Santa. I’m Detective McCree, or DetectiveCree. I’m here b’cause ya murdered two innocent elves at the mall.” He blinked and shut the doors on us. “Damn it Santa!! We’ll find a way in!” I heard Genji yell and we went to see if there were any windows. Luckily, there were some... Hanzo threw a snowball at it and it shattered. How heavy was that snowball?!_

_We all jumped in and multiple elves started at us. Santa glared and yelled “KILL THEM!” And pointed at us._

_“See, I told you so..”_

_“SHUT UP ZEN!!”_

_Then... they came flyin’ at us with sharpened candy canes. It was a bloody and brutal fight, with us gettin’ cuts ‘n stuff... it was scary. “What are you waiting for?! Go!” Santa yelled at a worker but he rolled his eyes. “Whatever Santa. My hair can’t get messed up by some kids.” The elf sprayed his hair with his hair spray. We lost Hanzo in the crowd, and after that, we actually lost. We were taken to somewhere unknown inside of the workshop and it looked pretty sketchy to me... we were tied up in chairs and somehow Genji still had his box._

_A blazing hot fire was cracking behind us as some elves held sharpened candy canes to our necks. “Why? Why did you do this?” I said, and Santa frowned. “Because... the first one knew to much. He was going to spoil how we make toys so fast. And the second... she ate some of my cookies. MY cookies. She had one last one, and I knew that she was going to be there... the store there has some pretty good whole milk. Now... with the execu-“_

_“No!! Don’t! I need it!” Genji said aloud and the elves took his cereal. “Uh oh...” I mumbled as Genji began to shake and twitch. Zenyatta gasped._

_“Oh no!! He’s experiencing Cinnamon Toast Crunch withdraw!”_

_Genji jerked back and forth in his bindings with inhuman strength. Then, the rope disintegrated and it sent the elves flying into the wall. “What the?!” Santa yelled, just as shocked as everyone else. Zen’s eyes glittered. “Is... is that...?”_

_A red light somehow shone down on Genji and he began to float upwards. His eyes turned black, and everything around him started to slowly fall apart... wind picked up as well, and some of my hair got in my face._

_Zenyatta smiled, “it is!! It’s the Antichrist!”_

_“Woo, go Satan!” I added._

_Then, the world slowed down... I don’t know why, but everything happened in slow motion. My breaths, the elves’ screaming, the ripping of the rope - everything._

_Everything went back to normal once Hanzo busted through the door. He stabbed Santa in the stomach and took us. It seemed like he was in a hurry.. “what’s happenin’?” I yelled as I saw Zenyatta carry Genji. “Ow, he’s hot-“_

_“No time. Just run. The sleigh is outside. It’s our quickest way out of here.” Hanzo answered and pushed an elf down the stairs. Once we were out, we went to the sleigh. “I always wanted to do this. YA!!” I said and yelled at the reindeers, who actually went up. Like, really high... as we got further and further away, a huge explosion could be heard. We all turned our heads and Santa’s Workshop was in flames. “Woah!! How did you-“ I began to speak but Hanzo cut me off. He ate some of the Albanese gummy bears. “I stole some hair spray and stuck it in the microwave.”_

_“Oh. How’s Genji?” I said to Zen who was in the back, and he said “he’s knocked out.” Huh... strange._

_And we went home safely and solved the case! But, I got into a lot of trouble with my bosses, eheheheh..._

“Okay.... Detective Jesse. You’re lucky because we just ran out of time! Nice work. I really like your imagination and how vivid it can be!” The man said and turned on the lights. McCree took off his hat and smiled. “That’s mister Siminson! It was a pleasure workin’ with ya.”

Jesse ate and drank everything. He then high fived the other and walked out. “See you next Thursday!”

..little did he know, that actually happened...


	3. Stolen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Year of the dog) The gang (not including Genji since he got consumed by satan) decided to go to a little festival.
> 
> ....things did not go as planned. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I decided to add some angst to this cuz who doesn’t love angst??? Ye, angst.
> 
> (Also, VenomArrow - Hanzo x Widowmaker - is apparent in this story.)

The group of people walked around the festival in a cheery manner. The mood was light and warm, and everyone laughed with enjoyment filling their hearts.

“Alright, you guys. Remember what Gabriel and I said on our way here?” Jack said and stopped the horde of kids who were in awe of the festival. “Two per group and come back at ten,” they all spoke in unison; most of them rolled their eyes in annoyance. “Children, behave.” Ana spoke and Reinhardt nodded. Mondatta, who was beside Zenyatta, looked around and noticed an empty spot that was next to his younger brother.

“Where’s Genji again?” He spoke. Zenyatta replied, “he’s in the hospital..” and sighed after that. It was really strange...... Genji getting consumed by the antichrist and all. 

Angela and Fareeha instantly went towards each other, then Lena and Emily. Mei tapped Satya on the shoulder and asked her if they could pair up, and she was happy with the answer. Jesse perked up at the opportunity to finally be alone with Hanzo, but as he turned to walk over to him, he was already too late. His eyes widened at the sight of Amélie and Hanzo. She smirked at him as he nodded his head. “Uh... sure. I don’t have anyone to go with.” Hanzo spoke and the female just chuckled, glancing at Jesse. She smiled evilly as he gasped, and she took Hanzo’s hand and walked away rather quickly. 

At that moment, something started to burn inside of McCree. What was it? Was it.... jealousy?

Whatever it was, he did not like it at all. Running over and grabbing Zenny, Jesse took him into a more secluded area. “Oh? Jesse.. what are you doing?” He blinked and raised an eyebrow. McCree looked around and made sure nobody looked in their direction. He turned his gaze to his very confused friend and spoke. “Look Zen. I-I don’t know what’s goin’ on, and Amélie’s taken Hanzo from me. You gotta help me!”

Zenyatta scratched his head, “hmm. Sounds like you’re jealous.”

“Jealous?! I ain’t jealous!”

The other blinked and chuckled. “You’re getting really defensive about it. And you also said that she’s taken him away from you. He wasn’t really... yours in the first pl....” The small boy was going to continue but he trailed off, seeing the death glare that was given to him. 

“Jesse, I hope you realize that you’re only making my point stronger, right? I can’t help you anyways. I need to go with my brother.” And like that, he left the other boy alone. McCree then went on a little adventure to go and find the two others.

McCree walked through crowds and crowds of people until he found them, and once he did, he was beyond upset.  
‘They’re holding hands.’ He thought, ‘why is she so close to him?’ 

“Ah, you’re so nice, Hanzo....” Amélie spoke and caught McCree’s eyes, then started to lay her head on his shoulder just to piss the other off. Hanzo blinked; he didn’t mind it all too much. She could just be tired. Meanwhile, behind a cart, Jesse glared at the both of them. “Who does she think she is? Swoopin’ ‘n....” 

Amélie looked back at McCree and smiled as she saw her plan work. Hanzo looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Uh... Amélie, what are you looking at...?” She giggled innocently, “oh nothing...” they walked through the festival laughing. 

“You know what? I’ll just.... I’ll do something else.” McCree said and shook his head. He found Satya and Mei. They walked around and had a good time for about an hour.

“Ah, I see. Don’t try to think much of it Jesse.” Mei said as she grabbed her chopsticks and took some freshly cooked noodles. Satya nodded and placed her bowl down on the wooden table. “It is sad though. To do something as cruel as that....” Jesse sighed and finished his bowl of noodles. “Yeah... thanks guys. Imma use the bathroom.”

The boy hopped down and ran off to find whatever was closest to a restroom, but he only bumped into the very thing that he was trying to ignore... “Amélie... Sorry for bumpin’ ya. I need t’ go...” he said as he hurriedly got up and walked passed her. He didn’t want to start anything. Amélie got up and scoffed, “....imbécile.” That made McCree stop dead in his tracks.

“What?”

“Fool. You’re such a fool...” she chuckled and turned around. Jesse stood in place. “I never knew that it was so EASY to get you mad! Just over a simple boy..”

“Hanzo ain’t simple. He’s far beyond that...” McCree took a deep breath and kept on going. “In fact, he’s the most complex person I’ve ever met.” His voice was low and he closed his eyes. Amélie just laughed at him. “Yeah right. You know that he doesn’t like boys right? Why are you even trying to get with him even though he doesn’t return the same feelings?” She went up behind him and and looked down on him. “I.... I-I don’t know..” McCree’s voice began to get shaky as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He balled his fists up in attempt to cease his brewing anger. Instead of seeing this as a big red stop sign, the evil French girl took this as a sign to go even further.

“Give up already. He’s mine; I have him wrapped around my finger. Hanzo will never love a stupid, worthless, loud boy. He’s not even gay. Why don’t you go to your dads and cry on their shoulders? I’ve already got someone’s to cry o-“

As quick as lightning, Jesse turned around with a balled fist and punched her square in the nose. “SHUT UP!!” He boomed, and almost everything went silent. The group ran over to where they were, and everyone was just... shocked.  
“Jesse! What on earth did you do to her?!” Jack ran over with Gabe and sighed. “I’ll tell you what he did. He punched the shit out of her.”  
“GABE.”

Hanzo ran over with a wipe and cleaned her face off. “Amélie are you okay?! Please tell me you’re okay!” He looked up and his eyes found Jesse’s, and he glared harshly. “What the heck, Jesse?! Why’d you punch her? What is WRONG with you?!”

Nothing. He said absolutely nothing. “.....Han-“  
“No. I’m done with you. I can put up with most of your craziness, but THIS.... this crosses the line.” 

Ana walked over to Hanzo and told him that she’ll take care of Amélie. McCree blinked and glared down at the French girl. “Next time you say somethin’ like that, I’ll leave you with more than just a broken nose.”

Hanzo got up and shook his head. “Don’t you ever talk to me again, Jesse.”  
And like that, he turned and walked off.

Later on, in his room, Jesse stared out of his window. Gabriel opened his door and unplugged his gaming system. “I’m taking your Xbox for a few weeks mijo. You need to learn self control.”  
“....I know..”

Gabe blinked as he held the Xbox One in one of his arms. He was expecting a little retort, but he got a saddened answer and sigh. “Hey Jesse... talk to me if you need anything, okay?” After that, he went downstairs to talk to his husband.

Jesse continued to stare out the window, filled with feelings of determination, sadness and anger. 

Tears filled his eyes yet again.

————Epilogue————

The black haired boy sat on the medical bed, fighting for survival against the Antichrist. In the corner of his eye stood Zenyatta, who snuck some of the sweets from the festival in. “Heeeey... I got you these. They taste a bit too sweet for me... how come you like them so much?.... I’m sorry.” Genji shrugged and opened his eyes a bit more; black covered his eyes and evil thoughts filled his mind. He forcefully pushed them out. “Thank..... you....... Zenny......” Zenyatta nodded and walked out the door. He saw his older brother and they both left.

“I hope he’ll get through this...” Mondatta spoke. Zenyatta nodded. He’s going to pray extra hard before bed tonight.


End file.
